Malibu's 'Street Fighter' Issue #1 Review

Oh boy. I would just like to say for the record that I'm a hardcore Street Fighter fan. I adore the games and the new Street Fighter comics by Udon are great. But this....THIS....
*sigh*
this should not exist.
I picked this up at a comic store a while back. It was only 50 cents, I figured it couldn't be that bad. I WAS WRONG. From the cover art alone, I knew something was horribly wrong. I mean, look at the art. It's so.....not Street Fighter. The very first page is a panel of Ryu uppercutting Sagat while screaming "DRAGON PUNCH!"
...wait. Dragon Punch? They actually translated Shoryuken? Wow. The next panel is Sagat hunched over saying "YOU...BURNED ME!" Next Ryu says "A lesson Sagat! To remind you of your defeat...BY RYU!"
Wow.
This is bad.
Really bad.
At this point i'm wondering if I can exchange it and get my 50 cents back.
So anyway, a fierce battle ensues that lasts one page. Sagat picks a fight with Balrog, then Bison shows up and he's like HEY STOP IT GUYS!
Then we scene change over to Chun Li and Ryu in a mountain temple river area place. Ryu sneaks up on Chun Li and tries to scare with a seriously terrifying face. PIG! she screams as she throws him over her shoulder. Uh oh. A battle? Then Ryu attacks! "FIREBALL!!"

...

are you kidding me?
Fireball?
alright.
So they have a fierce battle and then make out.
WHAT?!
Ryu and Chun Li just made out.
ok.
This is quite a read.
So now there's a sad attempt at plot development and then we go to Ken.
Ken time! So now Ken beats the shit out of some ninjas. OH SNAP! He's filming a movie! He's an action star! Yeah!
WHAT THE FUCK?!
Ken is Johnny Cage. This is superb. Ken finishes up shooting and goes out back and LOOK OUT IT'S BALROG! Uh oh, battle time. FIREBALL! YEAH! Here comes my favorite line, "I'm a lot stronger than I was when you beat me in the ring, Ken...AND YOU'RE A LOT WEAKER!"
Outstanding.
"You talk too much, actor! Add this to your script!" *punch*
Here come Balrog's finishing blow!
"EAT MY DASHING UPPERCUT!"

Wow.

So Ken somehow defeats Balrog and Mr. Dashing Uppercut flees in a conveniently placed limo. YAY KEN! As Ken walks away SUDDENLY SAGAT APPEARS FROM THE SHADOWS!
"YOUR FIGHT HAS JUST BEGUN, AMERICAN!!"
AWWW SHIT!!

To be continued!

Malibu made 2 more issues and then the series was sadly canceled.
Well...trying to stay on the positive side. This comic made me laugh. A lot. So..thanks for that, I guess.
I'm gonna have to give Malibu's Street Fighter a 1/10.
I highly suggest not reading this.
...
Dashing uppercut?

I'm so sorry, Capcom.